Back when I started my minimalist journey, I had begun reading in books that talked about how a lot of times we attach ourselves to things. We can attach to titles we are given, people, and of course, our stuff. At the time, everything in my life felt wrong. It felt like I had attached myself to all the wrong things and I was so desperate to break free that I just started decluttering and letting go of stuff. Like I was in a sinking ship and the only way to survive was to start tossing stuff overboard. The more I let go of the more I was forced to face my true self. No more covering up big problems with shiny toys. Now looking back, I can see so clearly how filling our homes and lives with more in an attempt to create a rich fulfilling life can leave us broken and far from the life we actually want.
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If you’re anything like me life has probably looked a little something like this…
You graduated and started filling your life up with the things you were told you were supposed to have. Maybe that meant a good college degree, a spouse, a newer car, a good job, nice apartment. All the trimmings that you were told were required for a well-rounded life.
And the thing is, this totally works to bring joy and excitement for a while. You are constantly accumulating new things which means those little dopamine boosts are coming in hot and heavy and it feels awesome. It’s like constant stimulation for a decade and then when it slows down it starts to feel like you’re getting off a crazy roller coaster. You flipped and turned and had so many rushes…but now what?
For most of us, we assume the right move is to move on to the next roller coaster. Join my 10 Day Minimalist UnChallenge to start getting off the roller coaster.
What often happens when we fall into the habit of accumulation is that we become more and more discontent with the life we are living. However, because we have never paused to evaluate what we really want, we just keep accumulating in hopes of keeping that same roller coaster rush going.
This is what I refer to as The Drive Thru Life and is the absolute first lesson in the Rich Minimalist course. It’s like we desire a big, juicy, gourmet burger from our favorite restaurant but instead we hit up the McDonald’s drive thru over and over trying to satisfy ourselves on Big Macs.
In our jobs we could be craving more creativity in our work, but instead we settle for the promotion where we’re currently at.
We desire a life of travel and exploring, but instead spend our money on new, cute summer clothes we can wear to the local beach.
There is no shortage of where we allow ourselves to settle for less than we really want. Unfortunately, a lot of times we haven’t paused long enough to even know what that is.
Click the video below to get the quick breakdown all about The Drive Thru Life (and how to break the cycle).
Now, for the lucky ones, maybe you caught on early that the roller coaster just wasn’t for you. You didn’t go on to the next one. If you happened to slow down in life and not be so quick to move on to the next thing you were “supposed” to do as an adult, you might have asked the question sooner than the rest of us.
What is the big picture that I see for my life? Am I on track to live it?
You see, when we get hurled into adulthood the way a lot of us do, we are never given much time to pause and ask ourselves what we actually want our big picture to look like.
Unfortunately, by the time a lot of us start asking whether or not we are living the life we were born to live we have already accumulated (and therefore attached ourselves) to a lot of stuff.
This is why I created my Rich Minimalist course. As a way to pause, reset and get your life on track the way you want to live it.
These little attachments creep in without us really noticing.
That relationship that started as a fling has turned into a live-in romance where you pay bills and share a checking account. But, do you really like this person? Is it too late to turn back now? I mean, you share a checking account.
You bought the house you were supposed to buy, but the mortgage is kind of weighing you down and you’re mowing the lawn constantly. Is this how you want to spend your time? I mean, it’s kind of late now, you’ll have to wait at least 5 years before you earn enough equity to sell.
Your job has great perks and you are making more than anyone else you graduated college with, but every day you wake up asking yourself, “Is this it?”
No matter what it might be or what you have accumulated, the truth is, we all have these attachment creepers that sneak into our lives before we even realize they are there.
Whenever we have more of one thing it always means we are settling for less of another thing. Unfortunately, this could mean that you’ve ended up with less of what you actually want in life.
But how were you supposed to know? You just got so busy accumulating like you were supposed to that you never got the chance to pause and assess the situation.
The good news in all of this is that no matter how attached we have become to something, we are always capable for breaking free. Yes, it will be difficult, but it is possible.
The first thing to do is to get clear about what you want more of in your life. Do you desire better relationships? More time in your schedule? Money in the bank?
Getting clear about where you desire a little more can begin to give you hints as to where you should start focusing your decluttering energy.
Here are some helpful ideas on how to get started and where to get started:
While it can be easy to hold resentment or anger for the things we have accumulated and attached ourselves to, the truth is that all of these purchases, experiences, and relationships can all teach us so much about ourselves and therefore give us the opportunity to understand more what we really want for our lives.
When we do this, we are able to begin to get a clearer picture of who we are, how we want to show up, and what we want to do with our short time here on earth.
If you need help getting clear about your next steps or how to get started un-doing the life you’ve built to make way for a better one, check out my Rich Minimalist course. It is a signature course that walks you step by step through how our family deconstructed our lives in order to re-build a more financially stable, truly free life.