I think at some point we have all been that kid living in a total fantasy world. Maybe you were a super hero who was fighting dragons or bad guys. You could have been the princess like me that all the hottest dudes in the land were willing to go to war over. NBD. Whatever the dream or unrealistic fantasy, for most of us that kind of just fades as we get older. We get caught up in our school work, are told the expectations that are set for us to immediately become adults and somewhere along the way life loses its luster and potential. Uhm, but the thing is, it’s still just as much a reality as it was when you were a kid and I’m gonna need you to listen up. Extraordinary living — like you imagined when you were just a tike, is totally a thing that is obtainable now and minimalism has continually helped me edge my way closer and closer to it…or maybe I’m full fledged in it? You decide.
There is a video clip that I love to my core. It is of Jim Carrey at Fashion Week (I think). The poor woman trying to interview him is met with statements like, “None of this is real.” “We don’t matter.” “There is no me.”
Now, I get why she’s totally perplexed and doesn’t know how to respond and my God does she perform well under pressure. But, here’s the thing…I feel this interview to my core. While I may not be quite as far out there as Jim is, I understand what he’s saying.
So often we take this one life way to seriously. We bog it down with rules, expectations and requirements when in reality none of it ultimately matters. In the grand scheme of living there are no set rules. You get to be whoever you want.
Climbing the corporate ladder only serves your ego. Dressing appropriately for your age is utter nonsense. I still recall a conversation I had with my grandma who was around 90 at the time and she said, “Most days I wake up feeling 25…I look in the mirror….and…no.”
She wakes up feeling 25, so why not just keep showing up being 25. Your body might age but your soul doesn’t. Wear what makes your 25 year old soul light up and rock that get up until the end of time because soon your time will be up and I hope you didn’t spend it dressing to fit societies current approved of dress code. That would be a bummer.
My next question to you would be, if you only get one chance to live this life and all the rules and expectations you have put on yourself are utter nonsense, what do you actually want to do? What sounds fun?
Now here’s the disclaimer with fun. You must escape your full-blown child brain when it comes to thinking about fun. For example, a 5 year old may want to eat candy all day, watch cartoons and jump on a trampoline until he passes out. Fun might mean never showering or brushing his teeth again. We as adults know this fun is going to turn into sugar crashes, meltdowns, and could lead to health problems and acne once those teen years hit.
We buy into the idea of fun being instant gratification and that is just not always the case. Going on a drinking bender with your friends might be fun until the next day. Therefore it’s not long-term fun.
So, humor me and dream bigger than that, please. Because here’s the thing…you are bigger than that and studies show that the way we feel most fulfilled in our lives is when we are connected to a purpose bigger than ourselves — bigger than instant gratification.
For the love of me I cannot remember which nursing home I was in (I have been in a lot), but I walked into an elder black woman’s room and was asking her about the photos on her wall. One of the photos she had hanging there was of her marching with Martin Luther King Jr. Chills.
There in black and white amidst her family portraits was one, huge monumental thing that she did that let me know she lived her life out loud. She stood for something. It might not have been fun…but it sure as hell was fulfilling.
The events we choose to partake in, where we choose to spend our time, those are the things that are what will give us that super hero power we once longed for as children just like me fully devoting all of my love to one man who loves me immensely gives me that same crazy-in-love feeling I once had when I was pretending to be a princess.
Oh, wait, I forgot, you don’t believe in that stuff. OK.
At some point somewhere in life we all start settling.
“I always wanted to be an actress, but that’s not feasible. Sticking with accounting will be sure to pay the bills.” *SETTLED*
“When I was younger I believed in soul mates, but I was getting close to 30 and didn’t want to wait around, so I joined a dating app and found someone I was compatible with.” *SETTLED*
Now, man I hate calling you out like that because I get it. I settled all the freaking time and I’m sure I’m still doing it sometimes without knowing it.
So, here’s what I need you to know. I know we can’t all live in a fantasy world forever, BUT we don’t need to completely give up on high expectations for a joy filled life either.
Get an accounting degree and audition on the weekends. Join the dating apps but refuse to settle for anyone who doesn’t treat you with the love and respect that you deserve.
Minimalism…if we are staying focused solely on the STUFF is the perfect example of how we settle for less than our dream extraordinary life.
Maybe you have always wanted to travel to Japan, but instead you settle for collecting Japanese figurines, anime, and dining out on sushi. It’s all good, we have to have little pleasantries in life, but if they are taking away from a bigger dream you are missing out.
Remember the woman who marched with MLK?
Think about her and tell me what it is you want to tell people about your life before it is almost over? What pictures do you want hanging on the wall for all to see? Who do you want to say you were? How do you want to have said that you lived?
I don’t know about you, you might be perfectly content, but me…I cannot ever imagine settling back into a life where my greatest joy was finding a pair of shoes on sale.
I want to use my voice. I want to speak up. I want to learn. I want to listen. I want to see people. I want to see places. I want to love so big that cause of death could be nothing more than my body saying, “I have left it all behind…there is nothing else for me.”
Get clear about what you want. You will probably have to sort through a lot of pre-programmed bulshit to figure this out. People have been telling you who to be and how to follow the rules for your entire life. It takes some time to shake free from that nonsense. It’s all good though, you can do to this!
Start eliminating anything that might be slowing you down from getting there. If you are spending too much and aren’t saving enough for the things you want to do, make small shifts that allow you to make the pivots that you need to make.
If you are spending your time cleaning, declutter. If you are consumed with worries of the expectations of other people, gradually start letting that go (I know that one’s a toughy).
And lastly, keep your eye on the horizon and your sights set on the photos you want hanging on your wall when you hit 90 because you will hit 90 and you will still be rocking that tube top like you did when you were 25. JK Maybe you’ll be sporting depends and wearing nothing but a bathrobe because you stopped caring what you wear 50 years before. That’s awesome. I commend you.
Now, if you want to keep the motivation train a rollin, come join me in my FREE training designed to help you create your dream life. You can click here to register for free to the Massive Action Masterclass where I will share with you in more depth my 3 step plan for living life on your terms!
There is no denying that most of us are spending our days desperately seeking happiness…April 18, 2022