When I was living in the midst of my shopping addiction, I was not picky or choosey about what items I brought home with me. In fact, rarely ever did I head into a mall or browse online with a particular item in mind. No, I usually spent my time letting the sales tags talk to me louder than my own inner guide. Since kicking my shopping addiction, I have started to understand that the real way to save money, shop smarter and still have a closet filled with items I love is to be a more high maintenance shopper. A lot of us have been lead to believe that being high maintenance is a bad thing — that we’re too picky or unpleasable. In reality, more people need to practice the art of being high maintenance and refusing to settle for less than they deserve in every area of life. For now, let’s just tackle the topic of being a little more high maintenance when it comes to shopping!
The more I share about my journey from shopaholic to debt free minimalist, the more I hear from a particular group of people who don’t believe this to be possible for them. People with ADHD. I hear a lot about how fighting impulses is not possible with ADHD or that debt payoff offers no instant gratification. While I can’t say I have ever been formally diagnosed with ADHD, I can say that a family history and a clear understanding of the symptoms leads me to believe I am merely undiagnosed. That being said, I took some time to think about what it was I did that allowed me to reign in on my impulses and actually manage to break my spending impulses and pay off debt.
Giving up my shopping habits was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I’d be lying if I said there weren’t times I sat at the mall nearly rocking back and forth while Tom tried on a few new outfits he wanted my opinion on. Every fiber of my being told me to get up and start filling my arms with new clothes to try on! Shopping had become a crutch, a coping mechanism, and quite literally an addiction. I did that really rare thing where I went cold turkey, but let’s be real, that hardly ever works. So, if you are someone hoping to start small by cutting back and maybe upping the 0’s in your bank account, here are 5 crazy simple, and totally rewarding ways that you can do exactly that!
As a chronic recovering shopaholic, learning how to budget and avoid major shopping sprees was an incredibly difficult transition for me. When we first started learning how to budget, we didn’t allow ourselves any fun spending at all. Let me tell you, this is no way to live. If you are going to commit to major financial goals like paying off debt, it is crucial that you still allow fun and joy into your life despite what some experts might tell you. I’m so thankful that after some trial and error we were able to find that using Cash App was the absolute best way to leave some cushion in our budgets and allow us fun money spending!
I cannot tell you the number of times that I sat in my walk in closet surrounded by clothes and shoes and a new purchase filled with stuff I didn’t need. Going on shopping sprees became almost like a blackout bender for me. Most of the time I wasn’t really even thinking. I was just grabbing and buying until I got home and was hit with the realization that I had spent too much money on stuff I didn’t need…again. These moments can be filled with so much shame and resentment. It’s hard not to beat ourselves up over these mistakes, but the truth is, doing that won’t change the outcome. After years of actively working to break my bad spending habits and create a home (and closet) filled with things I love and intentionally chose, I have a few words of advice for you if you are fresh off of a shopping bender.
You know that movie, Groundhogs Day? Where Bill Murray keeps living the same day over and over again until he gets it right. It’s kind of funny, the lessons stick with you, but what’s really freaky is that so many of us are actually doing this. We fall into habits that are destructive to our health, finances, and families and even though we so badly want to break the cycle, we just keep repeating ourselves. This is what my life with spending felt like for way too long. Month after month I would plan my spending weeks before payday. I would get so excited about everything I could buy. If it was for the house, I would tell myself, “I just need this one more thing and then I’ll have everything I need.” Eventually, I started to realize, there was always just one more thing I needed. One day it occurred to me…my process never worked. I never got any happier. Why was I buying stuff I didn’t need? Even worse, what was it that I was really chasing? If happiness couldn’t be found in stuff…how was I supposed to find it? Here’s what I’ve learned.