The Major Self Love Affirmation Mistakes to Avoid in 2021
I think it’s safe to say all of us are praying that 2021 is a less horrifying year than 2020. In fact, at this point I think the only resolution anyone will really have is to not go totally insane. Personally, I have stopped setting resolutions a while ago. At least stopped setting them in the traditional sense. However, one thing that I think we are all in control of is how we feel about ourselves. Which is what got me thinking about affirmations. So many people think they are BS (and I get why) and others try them out and they don’t really stick. That’s why I wanted to share a little information that can really help anyone speak better about themselves in 2021 and how to do it in a more effective way.
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Go all in
If there was ever a time that you knew you were ready for a change or a shift in your life, it’s probably now. Despite all of it’s major downfalls, 2020 has shown a lot of us what we don’t want in our lives.
More than ever there is a shift taking place of people having major life revelations. People are getting tired of settling for less.
If that’s you, and you know you want 2021 to be your year (or at least a better year), come join my Self Summit in January 2021 — I will provide you with all of the best science and psychology backed methods to help you grow stronger, bolder and braver in 2021.
Be consistent
Of course, with any new goal, the best thing to do is make an effort to be consistent. With affirmations, this doesn’t even really have to take up any additional time on your part.
You could do your affirmations in the morning while you get ready for the day. If you are already consistent with journaling, you could include them in there. Making your morning coffee? Try spouting off your affirmations while you wait.
Start with what you already like
One of the biggest mistakes people often make with affirmations is spouting off things that they desperately want to change about themselves. In other words, you start this goal from a place of disgust and maybe even hate.
Don’t do this. Please.
Psychology has shown that the best way to start affirmations is to start from a place of positivity. If you are looking in the mirror and telling yourself, “I love my body,” when you hate your body, your affirmation will be met with resistance.
Starting your day with resistance and maybe even secret limiting beliefs in your head saying, “That’s total BS. You know that’s not true you fat _________.” Those inner thoughts will drag you down far more than the words coming out of your mouth.
So instead, try starting with something that you do like or get complimented on frequently. “I have beautiful, blue eyes.” “My nose is cute.”
These types of affirmations are still tied to your appearance and self love, but instead of coming from a place of major resistance, they are coming from a place of (maybe not love) OK-ness.
Add in new beliefs
As your confidence starts to grow with your current affirmations, start adding on things that you feel less resistance toward.
For example, maybe telling yourself you are worthy of love felt like total crap when you first got started, but now that you’ve been doing your affirmations for a month, you are starting to see, feel and believe that you are indeed worthy of love. Add it in.
A little resistance is ok, just be aware of those deep down, nasty thoughts that try to take over our minds. I like the way Elizabeth Gilbert talks about thoughts like these in her book, Big Magic. She speaks about passing thoughts as if they are something we can choose to pluck up and hang onto or release. Try to do that when nasty ones try to creep up on you.
Write them down
Over and over studies continue to show the benefits of writing stuff down. In fact, we are 40% (ish) more likely to achieve a dream we have if we write it down!
Those are some pretty good odds if you ask me.
So, if you want a little additional help making you self love affirmations feel real, try writing them down. Maybe even just 3-5 of them per day if you don’t think you can make it through all of them.
Have an accountability partner
A client of mine has been raving about the success of her affirmations. One of the biggest claims to her success is that she has had an accountability partner along side her.
Every day, share your affirmations with a friend. When you add in a new one, let them know. You could even go so far as to record yourself saying your affirmations and send them to a friend. Send a voice memo, text it out. Whatever it might be.
Doing this can help you stay consistent and stay motivated when you start to see someone else growing in self-love right alongside you.
Want accountability and support in a big way? Come join the Self Summit! This is an annual summit specifically designed to help you succeed right alongside hundreds of other people who are determined to make 2021 a better year!
Keep track
Recording your affirmations can feel soooo extra stupid when you first get started, but it can be one of the best ways to track and notice changes you make.
Maybe you start standing taller, maybe your smile grows bigger, maybe you can hear the confidence growing in your voice.
No one else has to see these recordings and you don’t even have to watch them right away if you don’t want to. You don’t even really have to listen to them to notice the difference!
Let me just nudge you into at least recording them for 1 month just to see if you can pick up on any subtle shifts that are happening in you.
Act the part
Another great way to start tricking yourself into deeper self love is to start acting the part of your affirmations. If you are telling yourself every day that you are worthy of a promotion, but show up to work with your head down and shirt untucked, maybe it’s time for a few changes.
Yeah…I don’t know if the whole untucked shirt thing is even an issue these days, but I’m hoping you know what I mean what I say it.
Wear clothes that make you feel powerful, strong and worthy. If you are wearing clothes that are itchy, have holes or bleach stains, make the decision right now that you are worth more than that.
Like your hair a certain way but it takes a little longer to do it? Wake up 10 minutes earlier and start tending to your hair a little more. This isn’t in a desperate attempt to be prettier for other people, but instead to just help you smile a little bigger when you see yourself in the mirror.
Use a theme song
You know that part in a movie when the main character does their major transformation with some awesome montage music? Try that.
Pick a super motivational song that gets you going and play it in the background while you say your affirmations. If you want to jump up and down or dance to do, so be it. The more movement and energy behind your affirmations, the better.
You could even start with your favorite movie montage song. Here is a list to get you started:
- Rocky theme song
- Pirates of the Caribbean theme song
- Star Wars theme
- “This is Me” from The Greatest Showman
- “Supermodel” from Clueless
- “Confident” by Demi Lavado
No matter what, choose music that psychs you up and makes you feel like a badass every time you hear it.
Include your body
Lastly, don’t underestimate the importance of body language. (This was always one of my favorite lines from The Little Mermaid when I was a kid.) The book, Presence talks on this topic in a big way. You could also just watch the author, Amy Cuddy’s TED talk that inspired the book.
This is also a topic that we will be covering in the Self Summit so you can understand it on a deeper level.
Word has it that the idea of body language has even made its way into popular shows like Grey’s Anatomy. It has done this because there is scientific research backing up the power of a powerful pose.
So, do yourself a favor and be sure to include some power and pizzazz in your affirmations by standing taller, taking up space and posing like Wonder Woman — or a Grey’s Anatomy doctor.
